Another Day...

Just a few tidbits today...
I just found a cool new group called Mercy River. I highly recommend them.

I'm in the middle of losing a bunch of weight so that I can feel healthy and be healthy. (More on that later...) Last night, as I woke up freezing to death, (the air vent is right above my head and whoever messed with the AC/Heat thingie in our apartment turned it to Fan and Cold) I got a brilliant idea: As an added incentive to lose weight, I will list every Friday or Saturday my latest weight. I will also tell my friends to read my blog and at least leave a comment saying they were here. That way, I am doubly responsible. (Both to the meetings I go to and also to my friends.) That's what has helped me in the past, so I'll try it again. Now usually ideas I get at 2am don't work out too well, but this one sounds logical. So I'm going for it.

So here is the deal:
I will put up my weight: (So far) 191.2
How Much I've lost so far: 2.8 lbs.
Anything else that is important: I had my period this week and I have been more thirsty and less hungry than usual this week, so I am hoping I've lost some weight.
MY GOAL: 158 lbs by December 12th (Which means I have 33.2 lbs to lose until I reach my goal.)
Any possible sidetracks in the coming week: MY BIRTHDAY!!! I will be going down to Las Vegas this weekend for it and I tend to eat decadently when I am in Las Vegas.

Is everyone with me??? I hope so!

Now I will return to one of the most important reasons why I want to lose weight. It isn't because I feel ugly being at the weight I am at. (Though I do have my moments.) It isn't to be like everyone else. (I've come to the realization that I will never be like everyone else. And I am completely fine with that. I love being different. In a good way.)

The MAJOR reason for me so desperately wanting to lose weight is my family's health history. Especially on my mother's side. (Love her.)
My maternal grandmother died of heart failure, she weighed several hundred pounds when she died.
My maternal grandfather died at the ripe old age of 43 of a heart attack.
My mother's oldest brother just recently died of a heart attack. He weighed roughly 700 lbs.

This is the kind of health history I have. This is why being overweight terrifies me inside. I may joke about it or be light-hearted, but I am absolutely terrified of one day being massively overweight, my life restricted. I know how easy it is for me to gain weight and how I really have to try to lose weight.
Thankfully there is one blessing, one silver lining: I can hold my weight at a good level without much trying. It is only after I let go for a while that I start to gain again.
Now that I have that knowledge, I plan on implementing it once I reach my goal weight. I also plan on implementing more healthy habits into my life now that I am more knowledgeable about my body and what I can and can't do with it.


So I refuse to give in. I refuse to feel out of control anymore concerning my weight and I refuse to be limited in my life by it.